A lesson from the Bert Tiddle School of Goalkeeping for Children who don’t fucking pay attention

For just 100 quid a week, I will shove your child into making brilliant saves while they stare off into outer fucking space. What we’re doing is revolutionary. Just look at these endorsements from luminaries of the game:

“If you get arrested for this, I don’t know you.” —Sam Allardyce, brilliant tactician and soulmate

“I’m on the toilet!” —Alan Shearer, Ballon d’Or finalist and good mate

“Get out of my shed.” —Steve Ogrizovic, Coventry City teammate and numpty

Sign up now by slipping me cash or bitcoin behind the Wetherspoons near Sam’s house. No refunds and no grasses.

ORIGIN:  Dirty Tackle

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