Fuckwits Of The Year?

So this past year I had a business mobile contract for a tablet, registered with a major player on the high street. Oh let’s name them anyway, it’s 02.

It was a monthly PAYG deal, around £18 per month for 20gb of mobile data. But sometimes it would just go offline and I would have to go into the local store which had them asking me what the number was. There is the SIM in the device obviously which has it’s own number plus whatever the number is for the account.

They would send a paper bill each month but I never kept those. Also my mobile number is not an 02 number so this seemed to cause them huge perplexities in dealing with issues.

I would say, listen, I have no idea what the number is you need. You send me bills every month, just trace the account through my name and postcode.

You had to speak with several different departments on the phone in-store and of course, repeat the same information over and over.

The final straw was when I got a 5gb data usage warning. Sometimes I got 2gb data usage warnings. Weird when the contract was for 20gb. So I ignored that and the bill was paid each month by direct debit without any problems; I’d never use near that amount if data in one month in any event.

So I decided to ask their community. To register for their forums I simply had to supply my mobile number (not an 02 number remember). It came back that it detected an account with my email address. Fine. That’s the same one registered to the business account.

We’ll send you a code so that you can continue. Typed the code in and it said that the account had not been verified. The link to reset the password didn’t do anything. Just kept going back to the reset page, going round and round in circles.

Then I thought, why not give their live chat a try. Big mistake. But some will find it amusing and owing to the colourful language I couldn’t post this on most of the forums I use. Anyway, here’s a transcript of the chat log.

Hi my name is Aalok. Please give me a moment to read your previous chat. I have read your above chat and as I understand you have a query for your business account. Could you please confirm your business mobile number?

I’ve no idea what the number is

Is this 07*******3* the number you’re querying for?

Nope. You mean the number of the SIM of my tablet I suppose.

I need the mobile number for your business account you have with us.

And how would I know what that is? I already told you the 07********5 is not an 02 number.

May I know the mobile number for your O2 business number?

Look, just take my name and address, look up my account and sort this out, jeez.

In order to locate your account I need you to help me with the mobile/account number.

For FUCK’S sake I just told you how would I know what the number for the account is?!

Please do not use this word on this chat. Otherwise I need to disconnect this chat.

I will keep a record of this log for future use in a complaint against you.

You can send a simple text with a word “NUMBER” and send it on the number 2020 to know your business mobile number.

I am sick and tired of 02’s incompetence.

I’m sorry if you feel that way.

Now then, look up my account and help me figure what is going on. My address is…

I’m trying my best to locate the account for your mobile number so I can help you further with your query however you have not confirmed any of the mobile or account number due to which I’m unable to look in to your query.

The password on the account is… I do not have the SIM number of the tablet.

You have been transferred to queue Desktop Pay Monthly

Well I will continue using it because my contract is 20gb a month not 5gb so why I am getting data usage warnings is ridiculous.

You are through to Priyanka. Hi my name is Priyanka. Please give me a moment to read your previous chat.

I mean, we get a paper bill every month but we don’t keep them.

Thank you for waiting.

No problem. I apologise for any rudeness but I just do not accept that you cannot trace my account from my name and address.

I can understand your concern, however, I need the number that you wish to discuss about.

What number?

Just to confirm are you looking to discuss about the number ending with 5?

Give me STRENGTH!!!! For the THIRD time that is my mobile number that IS NOT with 02. You send me a bill every month to our address. How can 02 do that if you don’t know my number or whatever number it is you are asking for?

Okay, can you please help me with the first name last name and your post code? so that I can try to locate your account.

My postcode is…

Thank you for the details. Please give me a few minutes while I check this for you.

Thank you for waiting.

No problem.

I am sorry, I not able to track any account with the details that you have mentioned.

Yet we receive bills each month from you with those details! Funny that isn’t it.

As you have mentioned above that you receive a bill from O2, so can you please check the bill and help me with the account number?

I have copied and pasted this chat log, this unbelievable incompetence and will blast it over the forums to show you guys up for what you really are – FUCKWITS OF THE YEAR!!!

I can understand your frustration, however, without tracking the account, I’ll not be able to confirm any details of the account.

It’s not me, is it? What an absolute pile of tosh from a company that can give you a business contract but are unable to locate it with your name and address clearly on their system.







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